What is my gender, again?
I had an epiphany about this question.
I believe I’ve been fighting against my biology. For quite a long time actually.
Despite what I believed and said several years ago – namely that I don’t believe in biology (I know, right?!?) and that I am truly a man – I have come to the conclusion that I don’t have a traditionally male body.
How do I know this?
My doctor enjoined me to take more calcium at an annual checkup. Because I have had a full hysterectomy and oophorectomy, I should, according to her, take the same dosage “as a post-menopausal middle-aged woman.”
Those were fighting words a few years back. Now, though, I believe there is some merit in her statement. I have never had a traditionally male body. Ever.
My body is male now. But I can’t conceive of how my current male body is a traditional one.
For the first 30 some years of my life, I had mostly (I assume) traditionally female body. You know menstruation, chocolate cravings, all that. That is gone. The disposition of my body to put fat on my hips is gone. The fat now goes to the stomach, just like a guy.
In truth, though, no longer producing estrogen with a daily testosterone overlay via Androgel is not the same as producing testosterone via gonads.
I know. I’m slow on the uptake. Maybe I fought against biology to suppress my own internalized transphobia. For years I fought against being a transsexual. Now I’m happy with my gender.
The great experiment continues.
What’s my gender, again?