You Know Your Wife is Devoted When…

My wife made my dick

[Note: One man in this cartoon says “Your dick is nice” to a man. The man responds, “Thanks, my wife made it.”]

I recently came across this version of the myth of Isis and Osiris as told by Dr. Bob Brier, of Long Island University.

Isis, the devoted wife, sets out on a journey to recover the body of her husband, Osiris. She eventually finds out where Osiris is, gets a job as a handmaiden in the palace, and explains to the queen of Byblos, “My husband is in this pillar in the palace.” The queen is sympathetic; the pillar is cut down. A chest is taken out and Osiris is inside, dead. Isis brings the body back to Egypt for proper burial.

Seth, the brother of Osiris and Isis, finds the properly buried body of Osiris and hacks it into 13 pieces, and scatters them up and down the Nile. Isis, still wanting to give her husband yet another proper burial, finds all the pieces save one, Osiris’ penis/phallus. Seth threw the family jewels into the Nile where it was devoured by fish.

Isis reassembles her brother/husband and fashions an artificial phallus, so Osiris is complete. She takes the form of a bird, hovers over Osiris, says mystical things to him and breathes life into him whereupon he is resurrected…..

Devoted wife, hot 70s TV show queen, first sex toy maker….Shazam!