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Radical Acceptance: My Fear of Hunger

Hunger frightens me. I don’t know, really, what I feel like hungry. I don’t know, really, whether I eat out of boredom or hunger. I don’t know, really, the contours of my own hunger.

I cycle through periods of not eating then stuffing myself, gorging, actually. I cycle through these acts in an unthinking  way, driven by fear.

The fear of hunger exists without factual basis in my life. I have always had enough to eat. I have always been able to eat more, if I want. Wanting and needing food confuse me.

I realized today that I mistake not feeling full in my stomach with hunger.

I want to explore this fear, find out what I can learn about myself, how I can deepen into this experience.

Writing