These are screen grabs of my old site, the one I trashed. Compared to the space I am creating now, the older one feels loud to me. The use of the word “transgender” in some of the menu headings was, in part, an effort to gather more web traffic. I am more than a bit embarrassed to admit this. But that’s the truth.
I have happy that I am transsexual. But what can I say about people who sensationalize my existence, if I am more than willing to do it to myself? My life, the lives of others like me, the lives of everyone in the entire world, matter more than any SEO word pattern can illuminate.
Moving to the current, more simple expression of myself through this website, I have found that my cynicism is diminishing. The process of seeking web traffic by placing transgender as every other word in a post made me feel forlorn. How can I expect visitors to this site to see and feel all of me if I am more than willing to only show them ‘transgender,’ whatever that may mean for me?
Alignment resists objectification. Alignment embraces contradiction and complexity. Radical acceptance means I am and am not transgender.