I awoke yesterday morning, thinking again, “who knew?”
Who knew that underneath all my gender issues/dysphoria/etc. I made my gender choices for sex.
Who knew that men, some men at least, love the woman of their life with every fiber of their being?
In falling in love with and marrying the Divine Ms. H. she revealed to me the deepest motivations of my gender choices. In her arms and kiss, I found that, yes indeed, I did want to be a man having sex with a woman.
Even now I still find the whole realization awe-inspiring. Some Higher Self knew, I think, that this desire had been a true motivation of mine. Even though I could not admit it to myself at the time. After all, I had, according to my feminist ideological training, become the enemy. And wanting to play hide the sausage with a babe was just wrong, wrong, wrong.
Yet my little five year old self knew what I wanted. I still recall fantasies of marrying a woman (and having her mother really dig me, too) when I was five years old.
Unknown to my conscious mind, my five year old hooked up the Big I and ran the show!
Good thing, too. Otherwise I’d still be miserable. And I encourage all my trans brothers and sisters to have the kind of sex that turns you on and makes you feel whole. Don’t let the stupid sexophobes detract you from this important part of life.
In fact, I encourage everyone to hook up with the babe(s) of your choice. Maybe you can achieve this goal more cheaply than I, what with the hormones and surgeries and such. ;-)